If you are having a hard time observing your breath while meditating, just relax. Watch each part of your body, from the crown of your head to your toes, and allow enough time for each part to relax. As you relax you will gradually feel a sense of silence dawning upon your mind.
All problems that you or anyone in this world have come from the mind; the mind, which has been trained over a period of time to unconsciously support the roots of the ego-self. Every problem you have is rooted in the ego-mind-pseudo self. All the uncomfortable feelings of fear and anxiety, stress, and strains, exist because the mind is ego.
Until the mind can be purged of its impurities or the dross that it collected from the past, and until the mind can find something higher to surrender to, the mind will not become silent. It will continue to be clinging, craving, crying, demanding, fearing all the time, and will take the individual on a roller coaster ride.
Do not worry; the best way to purge, to detoxify, is to understand that anything which bothers you, is NOT the real YOU. It is your ego; it is your mind; it is your mind attached to the past and future; and for sure, that mind is not dwelling in the Moment.
Do not worry. The best way to rise and unfetter yourself is to recognize the Self within you; the Self that transcends all these fleeting thoughts and emotions, these bunches of negativity that keep demanding and demanding to survive.
Ego demands endlessly, for it has a hunger and thirst that is never appeased nor quenched. It is a bottomless pit, you try to fill it, but it never fills. It is never contented. It gives you a feeling of fulfillment for a short while, and immediately demands the next thing. And, then the next. It never stops.
All fears are born out of the fear of the death of the ego. Fear never, never comes from the true Self, which cannot die. Ego never wants to die. It lives through its own defense mechanism of demands and clinging, which is the nature of mind.
While you are focusing in your physical body, gradually you move into the space beyond the physiology and anatomical knowledge that you have gained through your past interactions. You begin to experience vibrations and sensations. That experience is gained only in silence of the mind.
When your thoughts stop taking you backward to the dead past or forward to the uncertain future, when the mind has nothing more to cling to, it ceases its identification and modifications, and there is a sudden stillness. In that stillness, in that now-ness, in that 'moment,' is the death of the ego, and the resurrection of the Spirit, the Soul, the Universal self which is beyond dualism.
You are neither fear nor death; even those you love the most are neither fear nor death. We all are the fearless, deathless One.
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