Although we try very hard to befriend our minds and to always keep company with the positive, often we find that intrusive, negative, judgmental thoughts jump into our minds, rather like they have a life of their own! What is the best way to make sure these thoughts do not stay for a long visit, or take up residence permanently?
What you are going through is essentially the process of meditation. When these thoughts come it is a sign that you are moving in the right direction. It is because you are conscious and aware of your mind that you are becoming more and more mindful of its patterns.
First, you need to know what is going on in your mind. Your mind obviously needs your focus and befriending spirit to accomplish this task.
In the past you have lived life in a state of ignorance and unawareness. As you persevere in watching your mind, you will notice the intrusive, negative, judgmental thoughts which have been the practice of the mind for a long long time, come to the surface. They surface to your conscious mind and become conspicuous as you are watchful of your own thoughts and emotions.
They don't come to a meditator to stay for ever. They come only to ask you whether you are awake. If you are awake, then you just observe with friendly compassion and do not condemn or criticize the thoughts, however negative they may appear on the surface.
Know for sure that as long as you are sincere and devoted to the purpose of Self Realization, not a single act of your mindfulness, awareness and dedication will go in vain. One who perseveres through this phase always reaches to the point from where, at the most unexpected moment, the quantum leap to the world of Silence and Peace happens.
Just persevere through this with love and joy, you are ever protected by the light of your own practice and all the greatest of the Sages and Enlightened Masters of all traditions are showering you with their blessings to see that you realize your Self. My love is ever with you in your Joyful Journey back Home!
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